A lesson on taking turns…
It is
amazing when you leave a person thinking to yourself, “Wow, we really had a
good conversation.” That thought didn’t happen because you did all the talking
or they did all the talking. That thought occurred because you both knew when
it was your turn to listen and your turn to talk. The understanding was mutual.
You cared what they had to say and they cared what you had to say. You leave
them feeling important because they wanted to listen to you, but you don’t feel
stupid because you took up the whole time talking. Both of you leave each
other’s company at peace knowing you said what you had to say and they said
what they had to say. Everyone wins.
Unfortunately
in the world we live in, people don’t know how to do that. There are very few
people that know when to listen and when to talk. A lot of people just like to
cut you off mid sentence or idea or thought because what they have to say is
more important than whatever you were about to say. Some people don’t even
realize they did it and continue talking as if you had nothing to say at all.
Reading this you’re probably thinking, “That’s rude. Why would someone do
that?” You could even be thinking, “Yep, I’ve had someone do that to me and it
feels awful.” Personally when someone does it to me, I just stop talking. I
realize that in this situation or relationship the person doesn’t really care
what I have to say, so why bother. Maybe they’re doing it unintentionally, but
it still hurts. I don’t usually keep people who do that to me around for too
long. Sometimes it isn’t worth confronting them about it either. I do not let
it bother me too much either. I just keep a mental note to not say much around
them.
For people
to have happy, healthy, and good relationships, we need to start being
intentional about listening to each other. Some people have a lot of cool stuff
to say. I’ve learned to enjoy talking a lot more than I use to. I use to always
be the listener. But when I find someone who will listen to me, it makes me
feel really good. That’s why I enjoy listening. I like making other people feel
good. You’ll still have a quarter whether it’s heads up or down. Heads is
talking. Tails is listening. You need both sides to make sense [cents]. (Little
pun joke) You need to talk and listen to have a relationship. The street has to
go two ways.
There are so many distractions now
a days with technology, the art of listening and slowing down to actually
interact with one another face to face is almost becoming extinct. It’s
frustrating to some of us old fashion folk, like myself. I don’t like texting
nearly as much as I love face-to-face interaction. I cannot figure out your
emotions through words alone. Body language, voice inflections, and the eyes
tell stories too when you’re listening. Even when you’re talking to see
people’s reactions mean something.
The next time you’re having a
conversation with someone be conscious of whether you’re listening or not. Be
intentional about making sure it is a two-way conversation. Not a lot of people
want to be talked at and not a lot of people want to just listen all day. Take
turns talking and listening. Learn something new about someone. Be interested
in what someone else has to say. Trust me, you’ll feel much better after you
leave the conversation if you just take turns. I know I always do.
