One night as I was lying in my bed I realized: there aren't really any walls, they are just a metaphor.
As I step out of my metaphorical fortress, I am learning how to be vulnerable. I am learning how to be wrong and be ok with it. I'm learning how to not be such a perfectionist. I'm also learning how to let people in without expecting them to stay, but still giving them a full tour of my heart. I love living this way.
Emotions are a part of living. I am accepting that. I'm letting my emotions come more freely. I still struggle a little because it's easier for me to pretend that I don't feel anything. Somehow I use to believe the less feelings you have the more powerful you are. But I've learned from the past week of living vulnerably that I have more power when I choose to accept that I am only human.
Every emotion we feel is precious even the ones we think to be negative. If we didn't have negative feelings, how would we know when we were experiencing positive ones?
I use to believe that I was the only human in the world that was a contradiction. The truth is we all are, and I'm just super aware of how much I am. We all have different desires and wants based on different moods that change when our moods change but is completely opposite of the way we were thinking and feeling before. If that sentence was confusing for you, no worries. Sometimes I don't understand my thoughts either. I just role with it.
Being outside my metaphorical walls has shown me that I didn't just keep people out, but I kept myself from being the best version of myself that I could be. So this post is for all those people who put up walls and think they are safe. I know it's scary at first, but you need to realize that the walls aren't really there. Then you need to love who you are even if you're not who you want to be. After that, be vulnerable. Let yourself be wrong. Celebrate your failures as successes. I know it's cliché, but you really do only live once. Why spend your life behind pretend walls?
