Waiting

Have you ever just waited for something? There was nothing else you could do but wait for something to happen or something to come. Before a baby is born, we wait. We wait with baited breath to know if it is a boy or a girl. We want to know if the baby is healthy and has all their fingers and toes. We also wait for people to die, especially when we know they are sick. Instead of baited breath, we breathe heavier or hold our breaths. We say goodbye not knowing if that was the last one, but knowing that eventually, it will be.

I’m currently waiting. Unfortunately, it is not for a baby to be born. My godfather/uncle is sick; he is dying. All I can do is wait. Wait for that moment when earth loses one more good soul. Wait for that moment when I will go completely numb from the amount of pain I will feel. The worst part is, after the waiting, life will go on.

As much as I wish life would just pause in this moment, it continues while I’m waiting. I don’t wait alone either. As Italians, we have been taught to be there together through every hardship. So, we wait together. We wait for this man we love to leave this earth, to finally be at peace, and to finally be in no more pain.

Maybe it is selfish of me, but I don’t want him to go. His life is ending way too fast. He had an amazing life, don’t get me wrong. His kids are the best, his grandkids at least got to know him for a good chunk of time, but he’s still missing out. He is missing my sister’s wedding and my potential future wedding. He is missing the baptism of his grandbabies. And other life events that someone his age should have still been able to see.

All I can do is wait. More and more my heart breaks as I know the waiting will end soon. I know that death is a part of the cycle of life. We come on this earth for only a short while. Who knows why some people visit longer than others on this planet, but it is not our true homes. Those with faith know there is more than this life. I know when the waiting is over, my uncle will be in a better place. His true home is ready for him to return.

Although if I could I would change the circumstances completely, but since I can do nothing but wait, I will also be grateful. I am so grateful that I was chosen to be a part of my uncle’s family. That I was able to love him in this lifetime. That he was there for me if I ever needed anything and that he loved me so much. He was a joy in my life. He will be missed so much.

To all my loved ones in heaven, make sure to have a delicious Italian dinner for my uncle when he gets there. I know he will really enjoy that…

A Smile goes a Long Way

Have you ever just smiled for no apparent reason? Not a fake smile, a full out smile? I've found that even in situations I don't want to be in, if I smile really big, a genuine smile, the situation is more tolerable and I'm put in a better mood.

I have to answer the phone for TakeOut orders at my jobs and when I do, I put on a smile before I pick up the phone. Even though the customer on the other end of the phone can't see my smile (obviously), they sure can hear it! My smile just before picking up the phone goes a long way.

Before walking into an interview, I put on a smile. A smile makes me feel confident, in control, and empowered. As if going in the room with a smile on my face is a kind of armor. I'm not hiding anything. I'm merely showing confidence in myself. I'm becoming approachable. My smile goes a long way.

I watched a YouTube video about body language. A study was done where Princeton students had to pick from two pictures the person who looked the most competent. They had only a few seconds to do so. It turned out the people they chose the most had a smile on their face. Those people were also the people elected into office. Their smile went a long way. (I'll post link to the video below)

The face we make, makes a difference. Our facial expressions matter even when it comes to something as simple as changing our mood. Expressions help us communicate with each other as well as with ourself. Our face will help communicate with our brain what our mood is. Even if smiling doesn't feel right at the moment, you do it. Smiling can change your mood. Just try it. Make sure it's genuine.

There's an old song called "You're Never Fully Dressed without a Smile." It makes more sense to me now than it did before. I can't say I'm one to walk around with a smile on my face, but I'm going to try.

So let me see those pearly whites! Smile because I promise a smile will go a long way.

Body Language