I read a tweet. It said, “I think I got too good at being single tbh”. I don’t know about you, but that statement felt negative to me. I don’t like it. I responded with, “No such thing as too good! Being single is happiness that no person can bring.”
I am single. People sometimes confuse being single with a lot of negative things. They confuse being single with being unhappy. They confuse being single with locking yourself away and being completely isolated from the world. They associate single with being alone and feeling lonely. They assume being single means you’re incomplete and need to find your other half. Being single is shamed. I really don’t like that.
I wrote I am single. I didn’t write I was alone. I didn’t write I don’t have any human contact. I didn’t write I’m longing for companionship. I didn’t write I’m sad. I didn’t write that I hated being single. I didn’t write I wish I wasn’t single. I didn’t write I was looking to change my status from single. I didn’t write that I felt incomplete being single.
I am single. I do what I want whenever I want (besides like work and school gotta be there don’t always want to). I enjoy me time and figuring out what makes me happy. I hang out with people who appreciate my time and want to spend time with me. I am myself to the truest form because there’s no reason not to. I am complete. Nothing is missing from my life.
Being single is a lifestyle choice that is just as good as being with someone else. Being in a relationship is not always rainbows and sunshine. I know people who were/are in terrible relationships, but didn’t/don’t want to leave because they didn’t/don’t know how to be alone or it’s too hard to get out of the relationship. That’s sad. The fear of being single is so daunting you’d rather stick with someone you don’t like or worse, are abusive. The pressure to be in a relationship is absurd. There is nothing wrong with being single. Maybe people would be less miserable if they stopped forcing themselves to be with someone they don’t actually want to be with and start focusing on taking care of themselves.
I cannot love someone truly unless I like myself. I cannot do anything unless I take care of myself. Planes get it. Put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. Being single is putting on an oxygen mask. I’m not saying being with someone is suffocating, but sometimes it seems like it. There’s nothing wrong with being selfish to a certain extent, but being too selfless can be life-threatening.
I don’t have to have a ‘one and only’ to make a special connection with someone. I make special connections with lots of people. I get the opportunity to make more connections with people because I’m not focused on one. I’m not trying to be mean to people in relationships (though I am biased because I like being single). Relationships are great. All kinds are. The relationship I have with myself feels really important to me. If I can’t figure me out, there’s no way I’m going to add any value to anyone else’s life whether as a romantic life partner or a good friend.
I’m tired of people acting like it is so sad to be single. I really enjoy it. I have amazing friends. I have a great family. Why do I need to ruin that with someone else? My time being single is NOT to prepare me for someone else to enter my life. My time being single is for me. I am not interested in trying to change that. I’m not against relationships despite how this blog post sounds. I’m merely fighting for the single and proud. There’s no right or wrong to this. Just thoughts about it. Thank you and watch Daniel Sloss’s Jigsaw episode on Netflix if you agree with this blog.
