Mission Accomplished

When I decided back in January of 2020 that I would write two blog posts a month this year, I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d follow through. I have a tendency of giving up. I get comfortable. I also get a little anxious.

This year was quite interesting. I’ve survived it, though. Through all its ups and downs. I stand among the living. Taking every day as a gift. Some days are harder to see as a gift, but they pass. The clock of time keeps ticking, and we flow to its pulse.

The holidays bring a lot of memories to the surface. Christmases loud with family. Parties filled with friends. Balancing the feeling of gratitude and mourning. Gratitude for the loved ones that surround us and mourning the ones not around. I don’t know if there is a right or wrong way to deal with conflicting feelings, but I just cried a lot privately. Worked for me. I got through my feelings.

I am not going to continue the two blog posts a month for 2021. I think I’ll go back to being randomly inspired. My new year’s resolution for 2021 is to keep surprising myself. I’ll see what I’ll do. I’ve already done things this year I didn’t think I would.

I love writing out my thoughts. I love learning through experience, thought experiments, and other people. I appreciate a space to write out my thoughts and update people on what’s going on inside my head. A newsletter for my existence. It is a neat way of connecting with people.

I hope everyone has a safe and healthy 2021. You’ll hear from me in the new year...potentially.       

Make Believe

'Tis the season to believe in magic. To watch miracles come true in Christmas miracle movies. Where twinkle lights make dark streets bright. Warm drinks make you comfy and blankets are plenty. Penguin sweaters emerge from my closet. The days are cold, but the house is cozy. It’s magic.

I spent a lot of time playing make-believe as a child. My mom is a champion and went through all the boxes that were in the basement. (There were a lot of them) Amongst those boxes were my childhood toys. All in mint condition.

I loved Polly Pockets. I enjoyed playing with stuffed animals, dolls, and junk. I had a junk collection. I used to pretend I was a scientist and would use the junk for my experiments. I could entertain myself using anything. I gave pens, silverware, alien creatures, and numbers personalities. I could create anything with my imagination.  

I love to create. One of my favorite quotes is from George Bernard Shaw “Life isn’t about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself.” I used to create worlds as a child. Whether I was acting out a figure that already existed or creating a completely new character. I was the puppet master.

My imagination is powerful. I can take outside information, channel it through my imagination, and create an entirely different scenario out of it. I took a Pooh Pathology test. Each character in Winnie the Pooh represents a different psychological disorder. Pooh is ADD, Piglet is anxiety, Tiger is ADHD, Rabbit is OCD, Roo is autism, Eeyore is depression, and Christopher Robin is schizophrenic. My top result is Christopher Robin. My second highest is a tie between Rabbit, Piglet, and Eeyore.

Sometimes I can get caught up in my head. I create ideas or imagine life to be a certain way that doesn’t match reality. I’m aware that I do it just to escape. Get out of my head by going deeper into my imagination. I did the same thing as a child. I never grew out of playing make-believe. I know I can’t stay inside the world I’ve created in my head. I have to come back to reality eventually.

The cool thing about reality is that there are some moments that are just so perfect, I couldn’t have possibly made them up. There are people in my life that consistently show up for me. There are times I laugh so hard my lungs hurt. There are car rides with my best friends down twinkle light Main street with hot coco from Dunkin’. I can’t make that stuff up. Those are things about reality that put my imagination to shame.

Shout out to all the reality shakers out there- who imagine the world and create it for others to experience. I think every dream starts with some imagination. Also, shout out to people like me who keep their creations to themselves. We don’t always have to do things for other people.