You’ve got 24 hours

What if the bank gave you a million dollars to spend in a day? You couldn’t save it and at the end of the day whatever you had left was taken away. What would you spend it on? Would you spend some on your family? Would you spend some with your friends? Would you spend it on yourself? Think about it. What would you do?

Well in life, we get 24 hours in a day. You can’t save those hours and you can’t get more the next day. How do you spend those 24hrs? Tricky, huh? My dad taught me about it. Everyone has 24hrs in a day, but why do some people say there isn’t enough time in day? Other people get lots accomplished in 24hrs. Some people, like myself, feel like I do nothing. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but I seem to feel like I can’t get enough accomplished in the amount of time I have. Why is that?

Now a days, we have too many ‘time wasters’. We play with our phones, check Facebook, watch TV, watch movies, and I’m sure you can think of others. We put so much value on money that we forget how valuable time is. Just like your money do you spend time with your friends and family? I am really good at wasting time. Trust me, it may not be the most fun, but I can waste time. I put the pro in procrastination. (I got that from a shirt.) I sometimes forget how valuable our time is. The Bible talks about our time on earth being a moment.

All right so this also relates on our social behaviors. How much time do you want to spend on someone you don’t actually enjoy? How many times do you waste an hour on someone and then you waste another on them by talking about how horrible your time is with them? I know I have. So you wasted one hour with a person that drove you crazy, do you really want to spend another with them?

When we dwell on people that make us feel upset or annoyed it is like we’ve invited them to our house. They have no clue you have, but you’ve invited them to dinner, invited them to bed with you, and you’ve invited them to be apart of your morning. Holding grudges is just a way of drinking poison when you’re trying to affect the other person. Guess what, I’m sure you know this, but it doesn’t affect the other person. Usually, they are over it.

I think human behavior is funny in that way. For some reason, we believe that by hurting ourselves some how magically we are hurting the other person we are mad at. Doesn’t that just sound stupid? I do it though. I’m sure other people do it too.

I’m starting to learn not to do that, though. Those people from school that might have driven me crazy during the day are not welcomed in my house anymore. They get left outside. Sure they knock on my door once in a while, but I tell myself not to think about them and let it go. I can’t accomplish anything by being angry or upset with them. I’m only hurting myself and wasting my precious 24hrs. I want to live a life that’s limited in anger so that I can enjoy more hours with people I love. Life is too short to dwell on the past and harp on misery.

So next time you’re inviting someone to your house by being angry with them just let it go. Realize that there are better things you can be doing with your time. Do yourself a favor and let it go. Stop drinking poison. You’ll find yourself feeling healthier and happier. Trust me, I know. I ain’t a pro at it, but I’m learning and growing myself.   
Ain't nobody got time for that!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFEoMO0pc7k

There’s more to learn?

Turns out, there is more to life than being anxious, depressed, angry, and passive aggressive. Yep, I’ve been learning a lot. Recently, I’ve been learning about anger and how to be assertive.

You may not know this about me, but I can be a very angry person. Another thing I am is a rug because I let people walk all over me.

Well how am I learning to deal with all of that?

Good question. Allow to me to shed some light on the subject.

The Bible talks a lot about anger. There are two verses that come to mind when I think about anger, the first is this: Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” So what do you do when you’re angry? You may hurt people physically, verbally, and emotionally. I know I am capable of physically hurting myself and verbally hurting the person I am angry with. A new way to deal with my anger has to do with the second verse. Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Next time you’re angry take that 10-minute or 24 hour break from the person you’re angry with or any people for that matter. Evaluate the situation. What do you want to accomplish by being angry? Do you want to get the person mad or do you want them to understand what you are saying? Why are you angry to begin with? Are you really angry with that person or is it something you’re dealing with and they just happen to be an easy target?

It isn’t always easy, but try to remain calm. Blowing up solves nothing. Something I learned and still remember from 4^th grade is that “It is better to cry than be angry.” Sometimes, that’s all anger is. You’re actually hurting and the strongest way to deal with it is to be angry. I always liked being angry over being sad because than I felt stronger. Who needs to be strong when I could just resolve the problem and move on? I have the right to cry.

Crazy thought, right?

 It get’s crazier.

For me, I hate letting people down; I hate saying no; and I hate speaking up for myself and asking for things. That’s what makes me a rug. I’m learning though that I have the same right to live life to the fullest as the next guy. If I am having a problem, I have the right to reach out for help. If someone is bothering me, I have the right to speak up. Now it is never okay to just tell someone “You’re annoying and stupid and I don’t like you.” That solves nothing and it isn’t really necessarily true. That person may be annoying you, but that doesn’t make them annoying. When you address people you’re having problems with always use “I” statements. Example: “I apologize, but I am feeling annoyed with you please excuse me I cannot talk to you anymore.” The truth is no one can make you feel a certain way. You choose how to react to people and to situations. So don’t blame people for your action choices. Take responsibility. Automatically, the person is going to go into defense mode if you insult them. That won’t help you get your point across. Try something new next time you feel angry. Step back and evaluate. What are you trying to accomplish? You can do it! Our brains are powerful things that need to be stretched and taught.

I hope this all makes sense. I’m still learning it myself and I’m hoping this school year I can put it into practice. Don’t be afraid to live life because you’re letting people walk all over you and don’t live your life angry just because it’s the easiest way for you to react. Skills to live life are actually really helpful (who knew). With God’s help I want to be more loving and less angry; I want to be more assertive.