Attitude of Gratitude

Happy May, everyone! If you are reading this, you have survived another month of quarantine. Now in case you haven’t read my other blog posts this year, I’m going to do a quick recap.

I started this year in a mental break. I was having a midlife crisis at 24 because I felt purposeless and goalless. I was full of anxiety to the point where I’d come home from work, sit in the fetal position, and cry for a while because I didn’t know what to do with myself. Things that I used to enjoy didn’t bring me any happiness.

I then had an epiphany and got help. I started speaking my truth, seeing a counselor, joined a gym and tried to be more social. Then as everyone knows and is affected by, the coronavirus happened. I felt like all my hard work was for nothing. I was having panic attacks again and crying a lot. I was not sure how I was supposed to adapt to this new way of living.

Turns out, once I finally had my apartment to myself, I actually adapted pretty quickly. I started creating. I created the world around me full of music, dancing, writing, reading, and videos. I’ve been able to spend more time with my parents, who are some of my favorite humans.

The more I’ve been reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, the more I realize that I am living my best life. I am living my best life because I am investing in myself and doing things that I thought I didn’t have time for or couldn’t do. I’m facing fears and living with an attitude of gratitude.

Being grateful is a huge life changer. I didn’t think it would work because it seemed too easy. How could being thankful change my gloom and doom mood? But it has! I wake up in the morning and even though at first, I wish I could sleep more, I think to myself that I am grateful for a good night’s sleep. And if I didn’t sleep well, I say I’m thankful that I woke up this morning.

My days, though not always eventful, go by so fast because I am having fun. I am so grateful for the things I have in this life. I encourage everyone to write out the things you are thankful for and just recite them to yourself. If you can’t think of anything to be grateful for, start with simple things.

I am grateful for the air I breathe. I am grateful for a place to live. I am grateful for the food I have. I am grateful for clean water to drink. I am grateful for a bed to sleep in. I am grateful for the ability to move my body. I am grateful for being able to think and feel.

I have started being grateful for things that I didn’t think I’d be saying at the beginning of this year. I thought 2020 was going to be a year of new vision because I was going to try really hard to change myself into someone I liked. Instead, 2020 became a year of new vision because I started to see the good things about me that already exist. I’m not changing me; I’m just loving me. I am grateful that I exist and that I am who I am.