Remember the Progress

I have a lot of journals. I started journaling in 2007. I can’t tell you who inspired me to start journaling or why it became such a staple in my existence, but my first journal was given to me as a Christmas present by my Aunt Gina. Inside are entries from 5^th grade me. Words are spelled incorrectly and stories I have forgotten are stored. My journals are time capsules.

I have a total of five full journals--working on my 6th. I do not write every day, but I always date my journal entries. For the most part, I would be super embarrassed if someone read my journals. Things I was worried about, cried over or obsessed over back then seem so silly now. Though some of my journal entries are so heartbreaking that I cry reading them present day. If an outsider (anyone that isn’t me) read my journals, I think they’d be really confused and/or worried depending on which journal they read.

I have used my journals for many purposes. Sometimes just to vent, other times to remember. Sometimes I’ve used it just to help settle my restless mind. I mostly journal before bed. Through the years, my voice changes. My writing voice, that is. I have documentation of my psychological development. My hero’s journey per se. My current journal is so different than my old ones because no matter how sad the entry is, I always end it with affirmations. My way of reminding myself that no matter how glum things feel, there is always good. (Which is a major development for me!)    

I don’t believe my past should dictate my future but looking back helps me remember how far I’ve come. I have survived many obstacles life has placed before me. I have overcome different hardships that I thought I’d never get over. Time has given me the ability to be above it all. I have written my cares, fears, and worries in a book that reminds me of the progress I’ve made to be no longer impacted by them.

Journaling is not everyone’s cup of tea. I obviously have found it beneficial to my life. It is a small part of my legacy. Maybe someday my kids will read them. Maybe someday I’ll find entries I want to share with my future spouse. The possibilities for my journals are endless. For now, they are my way of remembering my progress.

I encourage anyone who journals, to pull out some of your old journals and reflect on how far you’ve come.