Express Yourself

I wrote a poem today. I learned how to write poetry like this in middle school. Mrs. Russo was my teacher. I loved writing in her class. I used to spill pages upon pages of my imagination into the real world. I decided to dabble with this poem writing style again. Can an English major or anyone who knows what this kind of poetry/writing is called, please tell me? I don't remember.

Expression looks different for everyone. How we express ourselves is uniquely our own. I had an emotionally heavy weak. I finally went to the beach and screamed at the end of the pier into the dark, cold abyss. I don't believe life is life without the ups and downs. Tidal waves come and go. That's life. Let it be.   

 

Trapped

Before the new year began, a lady backed into my car while it was parked. She did a heck of a good job busting up the hood of my car. I have been car-less for a week. It has not been my favorite. The things we take for granted when they are right there. The worst thing is with the holiday and the weekend, I still don’t have a clue what the verdict is for my car. Is it fixable?

I remember when I didn’t have a car. As a little kid, I remember having to depend on my parents to drive me everywhere. I never really paid attention to how close or far a place was because it was my parents’ job to get me there. Friends’ houses or sport events on the weekend. Besides getting on my bike or walking to places, my parents were my sole transportation.

As an adult, I don’t like feeling trapped and/or dependent on others to get me places. I think it is partially a control thing. I feel some anxiety knowing I can’t just leave if I want to. The silly thing is, I don’t really go out that much anyway. The idea of running a quick errand or even taking Riot to the park without my car makes my stomach drop. I can’t. I can’t do anything on my own.

I’m trying not to overthink it. I’m trying not to stress about it. But the unknown is killing me. When will my car be fixed? Can it be fixed? Will I have to get a new car? None of these things were on my radar to worry about for the new year and yet I do. I don’t do great with major change. I’m not sure what the secret is.

On a positive note, I wasn’t in the car when it got hit. I am safe. My dog is safe. The lady who hit my car is safe. It was just one of those stupid things that happen in life. Random chaos. Out of my control. Hopefully, I’ll know something in the coming week.

Happy new year, all!