Opened Heart

Hazrat Inayat Khan once said, “God breaks the heart again and again and again until it stays open.”

This year did not go remotely as I had planned. When I started this year, I was on a mission to gain wisdom and do a bunch of great things. I dreamed big and made bold declarations… but a lot of those dreams and declarations did not come true.

I spent a lot of months just beating myself up. I considered myself a failure. I was angry about everything that went wrong and how other people wronged me. I was frustrated that nothing I did seemed to work. My life kept falling apart. I had lost control or so I thought.

In October, I started a new job. I thought the new job would give me a sense of purpose and meaning for my life. No shocker, it did not. What I do and who I be are very different. I can bring who I be to what I do, but my career path does not define me.

November was a pivotal month! I did three new things.

The first thing I did was a float tank. This experience is the opportunity to float in a tank full of salt water. It is an enclosed tank so you’re in the dark for an hour and thirty minutes. At first, I tried to be solemn and introspective. That was not working. I started to hate the experience but told myself I was going to get my money’s worth. I then started to have fun. I bounced around from wall to wall. I pretended I was a captured mermaid by pirates. I laughed at myself. I made silly noises. I then began to sing. I started singing the verse and chorus of my song called Change Me. This experience was momentous in my preparation for Heart of the Samurai.

The second thing I did, I got my Human Design reading by Reena Sifer. I had a lot of resistance towards myself, so I wanted her guidance and coaching to see things about myself that I was missing. She gave me a lot of awesome clarity about me. I love learning about myself. If you are in conflict with yourself, I highly recommend hiring her for a reading. I know I’m not saying too much about this, but what I learned about me would take up too much. Maybe I’ll do another post about it. Her link is below if you are interested. Also, feel free to message me directly for more information.  

Last thing I did! Drum roll, please… I went to San Diego to attend Heart of the Samurai (Heart) which is the third seminar through Klemmer. They have four. At first, I was mostly looking forward to spending time with my best friend Eileen whom I had met at my second Klemmer seminar Advance Leadership. She and I have been connected since day one of Advance and have both made the effort to text every day since. She is incredible and I love her so much.

Being with her was the highlight of the whole trip, but there were also a lot of life-changing events that happened during the seminar too. Klemmer does not disappoint. The biggest takeaway I got and the value I created was choosing me. Other people can see greatness in me or think I’m worthy of good things, but until I choose that for myself, I am always going to choose death.

There is so much more I could write, but something that really struck me at Heart was the possibility of love. I created a hypothetical husband as an assignment from my Wealth Activator coach Lisa Drennon before I went to Heart. For the longest while, I thought my ideal husband did not exist. I have raised my standards pretty high. The most important characteristic of my future husband is that he is on fire for Jesus and that his faith will lead and grow mine. I will not settle for anything less.

At this seminar, I met someone who fit every important trait of my hypothetical husband. To put the cherry on top, he pursued me. From my Human Design reading, I learned that I am not designed to chase. I decided to trust what God has for me will come to me. It took him the whole week to ask for my number, but I was over the moon when he did.

Only God knows if he is truly my future husband or not, but keeping my heart open to possibilities has changed me. I am choosing me because I want to be chosen. I have started a new eating plan to be healthy. I am releasing my first professionally recorded song on Spotify, iTunes, and Apple Music on December 25^th! I am being bold, strong, and courageous because that is what my favorite Bible verse has always told me to do.

Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Pre-Save my song coming out December 25th on Spotify: Pre-Save Plan For Me

Song I wrote in the float tank: Change Me

Reena Sifer Link: Human Design Reading 

Lisa Drennon: Wealth Activator

If you’re feeling generous this holiday season, please donate to Divine Timing Ministries: Donate Here