‘Tis Another Season

In my life, I’ve noticed a pattern of something “bad” happening followed by a series of events that end up being for my good. This blog is just a few.

I bought a house in the city in 2020. That house had its own series of unfortunate events that I’m not getting into. For the most part, buying that house has felt bad for me. This year, I sold it for a profit. Super good. 

I got a job last year that I was hoping would be my solid job that I’d have for years of my life… I absolutely hated it. My body became so stressed. Eventually my pain got so bad, my jaw locked up while I was at work. It definitely caused a stir, and I felt so embarrassed. My mental health started depleting. I already struggle and have struggled with maintaining a healthy balance of my emotions throughout my life. This job brought me to a new extreme of suicidal ideation. I couldn’t imagine my future doing this work day in and day out. It was a complete waste of 40 hours a week. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. People around me in other departments loved their job. I wanted so badly to just be “normal”. Since I knew I couldn’t be, I thought so much about ending it all.

I am so thankful for the friends I made at the company. My angel of reason (a friend in marketing) told me to quit. I didn’t think that could be a real option, but it totally was. I sold my house. I’ve saved money from every job I’ve been at. Money wasn’t a problem. I’ve been blessed to live with my parents. There was no reason for me to stay. My life is worth more than the work I do at a stupid job. 

So I quit. 

A bad thing- my jaw pain- led me to the chiropractor. My chiropractor listened to me share about the stress I was under. He recommended Rezenity Health which has a holistic approach to mental health and physical pain. I found the most incredible somatic therapist there. She has her own practice now, but the timing of everything was perfect. Something bad led to something good. 

Thanks to quitting my job, I got to visit my dear friend in Montana for a week, I got to visit my best friend for her birthday, and I got to attend my best friend’s brother’s wedding! I wouldn’t have been able to do those things if I was still working with the little amount of PTO I got. The best part about going to my bestie’s brother’s wedding was being able to serve their Aunt.

Their Aunt has a disability that has her in a wheelchair. She is way more independent than she gives herself credit for, but I had the honor of being her caretaker for the weekend. I even picked her up on my way down to North Carolina. We had not met until this point. Most people wouldn’t pick up a stranger for a 5 hr car ride, but I’d do anything for my bestie’s family. I am so glad I did. I got to do what I do best and love on the Aunt like she was my own. We had a lot of fun together.

I’m back home from my trip to NC. I told myself I would consider what I am doing for work once I got back. I know I don’t want to get behind a desk and work 40 hrs a week. I might have a fancy degree, but I would much rather use my brain doing anything else. 

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” In all the things in my life good or bad, I cling to the promise that God can and will use it for his good. I will continue to have faith. I know God has a plan and purpose for my life, otherwise I would not be here. 

I released an EP (mini album) on Halloween called Whimsically Medieval. It takes a total of 19 mins to listen to all the songs. I’d really appreciate if you do. Even those songs are a testament of something “bad” turning into something good. I’ve written beautiful songs from places of pain. It’s all part of the human experience. 

If my blog post stirred up any emotions, feel free to reach out. You can email me at christalilycoaching@gmail.com. You can also follow me on social media. I have a life coaching certification, and I love to be of service to others. 

Master of self, servant to all -Christa Lily

RIP Instant Gratification

Happy New Year, everyone! It is only a few weeks in and I’m already declaring this to be my year! I’m hyped, but not for reasons you may think. Honestly, if you were to collect the facts of my life, it could look pretty grim. A fun thing about facts is- regardless of what the facts are, I get to decide their meaning.

I’ve got a lot of goals for 2024. Some may seem far-fetched and some seem reasonable. Again, really depends on the point of view. I find them all to be attainable or I wouldn’t make them as goals. I’ve already accomplished a lot in a month.

What’s that? What did I accomplish?

I’m so glad you asked. In a matter of a month, I have healed my mind. All anxiety and depression is gone. I have peace that makes no sense. I have self-control and self-discipline. I can concentrate. I can remember things. I have energy and motivation to live life to the fullest without fear of going back to the way I was.

How did I do this?

Well, first I’m going to tell you how I did not do it. This did not happen overnight. It didn’t even happen in an instant. It was not a single-day transformation. Lighting did not strike and change everything. It was not just a prayer pleading God to take it all away.

Though miracles are possible, my healing took work.

So how did I do it?

The best way to accomplish a goal is by breaking it down into simple doable steps.

Focusing on problems only magnifies problems. It is almost impossible to be successfull focused on problems. 

My start to accomplishing freedom in my mind was eating better. I’m not going to preach dieting. I don’t believe in that nonsense. I’m talking about a life change in the way I eat and interact with food. I pay attention to what I’m eating and how it impacts my body. I make choices on what I allow to enter my body. I paid for the program Be Balanced. I highly recommend it for anyone struggling with weight loss, a poor relationship with food, and hormonal imbalances. It is not a program for the faint of heart. It is easy to get overwhelmed when you begin, but once you truly commit to the program and become self-disciplined, the plan becomes second nature.

Doing Be Balanced showed me I could be self-disciplined, even through the holiday season of Christmas. I stuck to the program even when everyone else was drinking hot chocolate and eating delicious cookies.

The second thing I started to implement in my life was The Five Minute Journal. My amazing sister-in-law-to-be gave it to me as a Christmas present. Ever since December 26^th, I start my morning, before touching my phone, writing down three things I am grateful for, three things that would make my day great, and an affirmation statement. This completely changes the way I wake up and tackle the day. It is scientifically proven that gratitude changes our mental state.

With mental clarity from the food that I eat and being grateful, I decided to take on new mental and physical challenges. I’ve been reading a lot more. I’ve been listening to podcasts. I am learning Italian. I am relearning/refreshing my piano skills. I have started brushing my teeth with my left hand. I am also working towards being able to do pull-ups.

I have other daily routines, but I’m not going to list out a day in my life.

Consistency is key. Small doable, repeatable, easy changes that don’t disrupt everything. Eventually, those small changes build up and become the results I am looking for.         

So why is this time different from all the other times I made this kind of declaration?

This time is different because I have put to death instant gratification. I think that is the biggest disease in our world. Anything worth having takes time. In the past, I wanted results without taking action. Now, I recognize the power of doing hard things. If being successful, being healthy, being mentally well, being rich, and being truly happy regardless of circumstances were easy everyone would be those things. When people say “That’s hard”- good! Cause when you accomplish whatever it is that is “hard” that means you can accomplish hard things.

I have been listening to the Old Testament because I’m reading through the Bible in a year again. It has dawned on me that the people God called to serve Him had to wait for lots of things. God promised Abraham and Sarah a son and made them wait 10 years. Jacob wanted to marry Rachel and worked 14 years to be with her. Just because something is good, doesn’t mean God is going to give it to us instantly.

It was truly prideful and childish to think I could do nothing and have God give me what was good. Faith without works is dead. God directs my steps because I am in motion. I’m not working for my salvation. Jesus paid it all on the cross. I am working towards the life God has called me to. A call that is greater, higher, better, fuller than what I could ever hope or imagine.  

Sitting still. Staying stuck. Giving up. Wishing for something different. Complaining. Wallowing in self-pity. These things do not work. They never have. The reason most people do that is because they do not receive instant gratification.

I encourage you. Choose ONE simple, repeatable, easy habit to implement in your life. Choose a minute of mindfulness a day. Choose to read a page of a book a day. Choose to brush your teeth with the opposite of your dominant hand. Prove to yourself that you can do something new consistently. See how it changes you over time. Put to death instant gratification. It’ll change your life.

       

Opened Heart

Hazrat Inayat Khan once said, “God breaks the heart again and again and again until it stays open.”

This year did not go remotely as I had planned. When I started this year, I was on a mission to gain wisdom and do a bunch of great things. I dreamed big and made bold declarations… but a lot of those dreams and declarations did not come true.

I spent a lot of months just beating myself up. I considered myself a failure. I was angry about everything that went wrong and how other people wronged me. I was frustrated that nothing I did seemed to work. My life kept falling apart. I had lost control or so I thought.

In October, I started a new job. I thought the new job would give me a sense of purpose and meaning for my life. No shocker, it did not. What I do and who I be are very different. I can bring who I be to what I do, but my career path does not define me.

November was a pivotal month! I did three new things.

The first thing I did was a float tank. This experience is the opportunity to float in a tank full of salt water. It is an enclosed tank so you’re in the dark for an hour and thirty minutes. At first, I tried to be solemn and introspective. That was not working. I started to hate the experience but told myself I was going to get my money’s worth. I then started to have fun. I bounced around from wall to wall. I pretended I was a captured mermaid by pirates. I laughed at myself. I made silly noises. I then began to sing. I started singing the verse and chorus of my song called Change Me. This experience was momentous in my preparation for Heart of the Samurai.

The second thing I did, I got my Human Design reading by Reena Sifer. I had a lot of resistance towards myself, so I wanted her guidance and coaching to see things about myself that I was missing. She gave me a lot of awesome clarity about me. I love learning about myself. If you are in conflict with yourself, I highly recommend hiring her for a reading. I know I’m not saying too much about this, but what I learned about me would take up too much. Maybe I’ll do another post about it. Her link is below if you are interested. Also, feel free to message me directly for more information.  

Last thing I did! Drum roll, please… I went to San Diego to attend Heart of the Samurai (Heart) which is the third seminar through Klemmer. They have four. At first, I was mostly looking forward to spending time with my best friend Eileen whom I had met at my second Klemmer seminar Advance Leadership. She and I have been connected since day one of Advance and have both made the effort to text every day since. She is incredible and I love her so much.

Being with her was the highlight of the whole trip, but there were also a lot of life-changing events that happened during the seminar too. Klemmer does not disappoint. The biggest takeaway I got and the value I created was choosing me. Other people can see greatness in me or think I’m worthy of good things, but until I choose that for myself, I am always going to choose death.

There is so much more I could write, but something that really struck me at Heart was the possibility of love. I created a hypothetical husband as an assignment from my Wealth Activator coach Lisa Drennon before I went to Heart. For the longest while, I thought my ideal husband did not exist. I have raised my standards pretty high. The most important characteristic of my future husband is that he is on fire for Jesus and that his faith will lead and grow mine. I will not settle for anything less.

At this seminar, I met someone who fit every important trait of my hypothetical husband. To put the cherry on top, he pursued me. From my Human Design reading, I learned that I am not designed to chase. I decided to trust what God has for me will come to me. It took him the whole week to ask for my number, but I was over the moon when he did.

Only God knows if he is truly my future husband or not, but keeping my heart open to possibilities has changed me. I am choosing me because I want to be chosen. I have started a new eating plan to be healthy. I am releasing my first professionally recorded song on Spotify, iTunes, and Apple Music on December 25^th! I am being bold, strong, and courageous because that is what my favorite Bible verse has always told me to do.

Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Pre-Save my song coming out December 25th on Spotify: Pre-Save Plan For Me

Song I wrote in the float tank: Change Me

Reena Sifer Link: Human Design Reading 

Lisa Drennon: Wealth Activator

If you’re feeling generous this holiday season, please donate to Divine Timing Ministries: Donate Here

Observations on Fear

As I allow myself to explore my past with curiosity instead of judgment, I notice things to learn. It doesn’t matter how off course I may feel, there is always the choice to get back on track.

I had a crazy dream last night about being out in the middle of the ocean at night in a little donut floaty. I was trying to find my way back to the ship. It was so dark that I lost the group I was with. To make matters worse, I saw the shark fin. That’s when fear woke me.

I wish I could face the fears in real life the way I do in dreams. Wake up from them. Still feeling my physical heart racing, but knowing the reality of getting eaten by a shark in my bed isn’t there. No real danger. It’s just pretend.

I have learned a lot of facts about sharks just to be up to date on my worst nightmare. The greatest comfort to me though is knowing that I am nowhere near an ocean. Even when I have visited the ocean, I still go in the water.

Why is my fear of sharks manageable? Because of the story I created around it. Instead of being so focused on my fear, I go down a path reminding me why I don’t have to fear.

Can this work for other fears in my life? Absolutely! I just have to face those fears.
Sometimes naming the fear is half the battle. Fear likes to hide in the darkness. It keeps everyone at a distance.

It is easy to name being afraid of a thing, but what if the fear is the fear of failing? Fear of never finding love? Fear of not finding purpose? Fear that things aren’t going to get any better? Fear of judgment? Fear of change?

Who likes to talk about those fears? I know I don’t because of the fear of being misunderstood.

I have been promoting the Personal Mastery seminar for a few months now. No one has asked me about it. My expectation was that a lot of people would be interested because of how much it inspired me, but then I began to have fear.

I love Jesus. I’ve been working on getting to know Him more by reading my Bible, praying, and volunteering at church. I don’t talk about it though because of fear.

How can I expect other people to want to change and face their fears when I’ve been living in the shadows?

Living in fear does not get to be my story. Just like waking from my dream, I am waking up from this fear. It doesn’t have the right to own me. A fearful person is not a loving person. I choose to be loving to myself in order to give love to others.

If you’re feeling fearful, here are some options:

> Cry out to Jesus. Even at my lowest, I know Jesus hears me. He is faithful and loving. He has kept me going and gotten me through many storms.

> Invest in the weekend for the Personal Mastery Seminar. September 15-17. The seminar is a combination of exercises and games that allow you to create positive change in your life. Information & Enroll Here

> Name the fears. Take time to create a new story around those fears. Create stories that inspire hope, bring comfort, and are conclusive.

Reach out and let me know how I can pray for you!

Thanks for reading. Love you! 

Where I'm At

It is hard for me to believe it has already been a year since I made the commitment to write a blog every month since my last birthday. Wow! Time goes by fast.

I admit, I’m not the best at planning. I have had many goals and aspirations. I’ve allowed fear to dictate my actions. I’ve been the hardest and meanest towards myself when I’ve only had cheerleaders externally. It has not been the year I expected.

Life is delicate. It is not guaranteed, and it does not always last. It feels like forever, but all of what’s known is past. I am constantly learning, but the lessons I thought learned keep repeating. What am I doing? Where am I going? How did I get here?

My word for this year was wisdom. That was to be my one-word focus, but does anyone else feel like it is a challenge to focus on one thing? I am bombarded with so much information, there is too much that holds my focus even if it doesn’t serve me.

I’ll call myself out, I’ve been living in resentment, resistance, and withholding because my focus is on my problems. I may think I know what I know, but am I doing what I know? There is a huge disconnect. To think I’d be perfect at something on the first try is foolish. I’ve been doing everything the hard way. It is easy to assume the worst in the middle of a storm, but the only way out of a storm is through.

One thing I am really looking forward to in September is the Klemmer Personal Mastery Seminar that is coming Friday the 15^th through the 17^th. In order to have lasting change, you have to believe you’re worth investing in. This seminar is an opportunity to invest in yourself and grow your personal and professional skills. It is a combination of exercises and games that give you a chance to recognize the ways you’re showing up that are not serving you.  

The epiphany I had the first time I took the seminar was that I don’t play if I don’t think I will win. This is still true for me. I’ve seen where it is showing up in my life. It does not serve me. Sure, there are things I may not be successful at, but if I don’t try, I’ll never win that way either.

It is easy to get stuck in the same rut or limiting beliefs. This seminar is a chance to break out! I know I need it. The seminar is a lifetime tuition and money-back guarantee. If you follow my link, you can get a discount on the tuition. Enroll Here

Life is about creating yourself. Where are you at? 

An Invitation

I am not perfect. It’s just a fact. As hard as I try and as much as I’d like things to come easily, I still struggle to want everything to be perfect. Perfectionism is more of an illness than a strength. It’s a trap because it puts me in a place of freeze. If it’s not perfect then it’s not good, so hold production. 

So what moves me? What gets me out of freeze?

A Sicilian sunrise over Mt Etna gets me moving at 5am. There is just something so moving about nature. It moved my mom and I to worship the way Heaven declares the glory of God daily. Without an audience, the beauty of nature sings praises to God.

Music moves me. Some songs will get my foot tapping or my hips swaying no matter what mood I was in before the song came on. I’ll feel the rhythm take over me until every part of my body moves. Even the Italians know singing and dancing make everything better.

The cross moves me. My parents and I walked up the mountain to visit La Santa Croce. It is a big metal cross with Jesus on it that looks over Valguarnera. The reminder of how wonderful the cross is moved me to tears. God loved me so much, He didn’t want me to live this life or the next without Him. Jesus made the way for me to have a relationship with God. I’m so thankful for the power of the cross. 

Movies move me. I get so into them. Even on an airplane, I’ll laugh out loud and pump my fists in the air with excitement. I was in the middle seat, and I told the guy at the window, “I get really into my movies. Make sure you give me a good tap for my attention.” I love getting swept into the action. A good plot will suck me in until I participate like I’m part of it.

A good coaching session moves me. Sometimes it’ll be tears. I just have to get what’s on my chest off. Sometimes it’ll be inspiration for a doable action step. Sometimes it will be a good laugh. Just taking a moment to not take everything so seriously.

So what moves you? What inspires you to move forward when you’re in a state of freeze?

I have an invitation for you, an opportunity to move per se. If you want to know what’s getting in your way of achieving your goals and you want something more, better, or different for your life, then this is for you. 

Klemmer’s Personal Mastery seminar is coming to Rochester September 15-17. Klemmer’s seminar is a collection of exercises and games that help uncover subconscious thoughts. The training provides you with a lot of change in a short amount of time. 

I have a link below to get more information and to enroll. There’s a special discount code that’s embedded in the link. If you use the link, the code will be there when you commit to enrolling. 

I want to connect with you. I could share a testimony of how this seminar changed my life, but this is all about you. What does it take to invest in yourself? Do you want to grow personally, professionally, and even spiritually? Why would you want to go? Tell me about it. I look forward to seeing you there. 

Personal Mastery Seminar

Hope, Faith, Love

I am in awe of the great things that are happening in my life and in the lives of people around me. Every day, I get to anticipate what God is going to teach me or show me that will amaze me.

June was a pivotal month for me in 2021. It was when my reality was based on fear, scarcity, anxiety, depression, recklessness, false carelessness, and selfish behavior. I found out I had created life inside of me and instead of joy it brought me pain. The choice was set before me: life or death. I chose death because that is what I wanted for my life. I wish I had never been born. I wished I never had to suffer the way I felt I did. Emotionally helpless and physically paying for it. My focus was on me, me, me. No one else and nothing else mattered. That was the pit I dug for myself. The hole I crawled into.

God did not leave me even when I was in my darkest moments. As much as I wanted to believe I could run away from Him, nothing was ever going to snatch me from His hands. In my darkest days, God gave me hope. A Bible study called The Healing Journey that was starting in September. My mom even offering this opportunity to me sparked hope in me. I was desperate for something to save me. I had tried counseling, medication, meditation, and self-help books, but nothing changed me. I still felt depression lingering over me like a dark cloud. I still wished to not exist when things got hard. I reverted always to self-sabotaging and self-destructive behaviors. BUT maybe this Bible study. BUT maybe God could save me. That was hope.

As I did the hard work to search after God and understand my beliefs about Him, layers of healing began. It was slow. I even wrote a song during this time called Slowly because God was slowly working on my heart. As my hope in God grew, so did my faith.

Faith is complete trust or confidence in someone or something. When I truly put my faith in God, that’s when true change happened. I started taking God seriously at His word and because of that I live a more bold, courageous, and favored life. Don’t get me wrong, my life is not perfect. Bad things still happen to me, but I have a new outlook on every situation.

Instead of wallowing in defeat when something bad happens, I get to fall into love. Love learns. Love grows. Love nurtures. Love hopes. Sometimes I love so much, it makes me blind. I fall for cons when it looks like helping someone in need. This recently happened to me at an ESL atm in the city. I want to share awareness because they were just a couple of kids not much older than me. They hang around ATMs to prey on kind people to steal from them. Part of my mistake was ignorance of how the ATMs and the check depositing process work. I have definitely learned an expensive life lesson.

It is ironic because I started this blog post before that event happened, but now I get to put what I’m writing into practice. I was beating myself up about this for two days. The day I found out I was scammed and the day after. I could have chosen to linger in my self-hatred and beat myself up about how stupid I feel for not just leaving when I could have. I can waste head space on the what if’s and the should have’s, but I just accept reality. I choose to believe that God has something better for me. I choose to love myself.

I am not lesser because I make mistakes. I make mistakes and I learn from them. Only when I choose to love myself can I choose to see the lesson I’m learning.

 Stay safe, everyone! Love you!