Tuesday, July 31, 2018

The Dark Side of Love


Love is such a complicated idea, but people tend to throw out “I love you” like it is supposed to mean something. Think about how often love is used. We use love in advertising, in songs, in movie plots, in art, in describing sex, in relationships, on clothing, and to express ourselves etc. The dilemma is: do people really take the time to think about what that means?

I have a few questions about love for starters- What does it mean to love someone? What does love look like? Can you prove you love someone? Is love just a feeling? Is love just a chemical in your brain? Can you run out of love? Does love conquer all or is love gentle? Is love freedom or is love bondage? 

I want to explore the dark side of love.

People fall in love, but they don’t realize that falling in love can be just as dangerous as being hateful. Love causes you to have crazy emotions, do weird things, and have expectations. When we love, we often forget that love is not a contract. An “I love you” does not mean I owe you something and you owe me something; it is not a form of currency to manipulate others. “I love you” does not mean you get to make my life decisions and live for me. 

I love you is a verbal expression of feelings you have about a person. Love helps you to enjoy their existence more selfishly. The reasons you choose to love someone are your own; they should not involve the other person. That might sound confusing, but I don’t need someone to love me back for me to adore them. An example would be celebrities. A celebrity will never love you back the way you love them. When people become infatuated with celebrities there is never an expectation, rarely do we meet them, but we love them anyway. We pledge loyalty and support to them by calling ourselves fans. Is that really love if you have never actually met them? I don’t know. That is just another question about the power of love.

I think we need a wakeup call on the definition of love. Love should not be an expectation on another person to return it. Love should not be a bondage that keeps a person on a leash connected to you. Love is not a bargaining chip in an argument. Loving someone does not make them your possession. It is only an expression of your feelings/opinion. Love is a- you decision. It should not involve anyone else. 

Love can be an amazing feeling to have, but when abused it can really crush another person. The next time you say “I love you” to someone, think about what that really means to you. Do you love them because of something they do or just because you want to regardless of what they do?

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