Identify Me

How well do you want to know me? Your choices are the same as cooking meat.

1.     Rare- You hardly know me. You’ve seen my face, we are Facebook friends, and you double click or like my posts with very little thought after.

2.     Medium Rare- You can put together an idea of who I am based on my social media. You’ve had some interaction with me and wouldn’t be nervous to shoot me a dm. You’ll comment on a post or even shoot an “I miss you” comment on a photo.

3.     Medium Well- You know things about me that only people can learn by spending time with me. You’ve experienced my ramblings. It won’t matter how much time has passed, you’ll pick up the phone and call me when you miss me. Our conversations are easy. The moments we share are quality over quantity.

4.     Well Done- You have discovered more about me because you have seen me at my worst. The trust I share with you causes the worst kind of chasm when broken.

The choice of how well you know me is both my choice and yours. If I was to ask different people in my life to identify me with a few words and a couple of examples, I’d get different answers depending on who you ask. You might be thinking, “Uh does that mean you’re fake or different around different people?” At least, I want you to think that so I can continue with this blog post.

The answer is yes. I am a social chameleon. I’ll observe and read the room before I adapt to the role I’d like to play. Sometimes I choose to not interact with certain people. Sometimes I choose to say very little because I’d rather just listen. Sometimes I want to be the center of attention and get everything out that’s in my head. I’m not trying to be deceitful or trick anyone, but I can’t always be perfectly consistent.

I listened to a great audiobook called An Anonymous Girl by Greer Hendricks. In the book, the main character Jessica gets into an ethical and moral experiment run by a psychology Ph.D. professor Dr. Shields. Jessica goes into therapy with Dr. Shields and starts to become very aware of herself. Jessica started keeping secrets from her therapist. And that’s all I’m going to share about that book. Read or listen at your own leisure.

The thought about holding my own secrets started to excite me. There are things about myself I know that no one does. There are also things no one needs to know. That is my privilege. There are always things I can keep to myself. No one has the right to know everything I am thinking or feeling. Sometimes I just want to take care of my own wounds or celebrate my own personal successes. We live in such an external world. Sometimes we forget about our inner sanctum.

I am thankful for all my external connections to this world. The people that have crossed my path, whether significantly or insignificantly, are all a part of my history. I like to believe we are all connected somehow and that matters.

Identify me based on the meat cooking scale. You can’t get to well done without staying in the heat longer.

My new blue AND purple hair!